About Alopecia
Short hairstyles work best for my thin hair
Around the time I turned 16, my hair started falling out. I went to a dermatologist and was diagnosed with androgenetic alopecia, also known as female pattern baldness. This is not the same as the temporary hair loss that some people experience when under stress or for other health reasons. Twenty two years later and it continues to get thinner but hasn’t fallen out completely. If you know me in person, I’m sure you’ve noticed my incredibly thin hair. Unless you’re one of very few people, we haven’t discussed it because it’s something I’ve been very uncomfortable talking about. I’m not sure if I’ve been more self-conscious about my hair loss or my body size over the years. Now I’m past the point of worrying about either and I feel like it’s time to share my experience with alopecia.
I’ve had people make fun of me to my face about balding a couple of times in my life which was easier to shrug off than attacks about my weight because it’s not like it’s in my control. In fact I’ve tried many different things to make it grow back, or at least stop it from falling out more, but nothing has worked. I used minoxidil (Rogaine) for over a decade, purchasing multiple bottles when I travelled to the US because it’s available on shelves there as opposed to by prescription in Canada, and at 1/3 of the price. I only recently stopped using it because I ran out but have no plans to go back to using it again. I’ve also covered my hair with hats and headbands while swimming in the ocean during vacations and while in the gym and fitness studios because when my hair gets wet, the lack of it is much more noticeable. It’s been a concern of mine when it comes to dating, thinking that men won’t find me as attractive as women with a full head of hair. I spent 22 years of my life being embarrassed by the appearance of my hair until something shifted during spring 2020 while we were in lockdown.
I don’t know if it was the massive amount of personal development work I did, or the new routine of not adding product to my hair every day so it looked thicker while I was in public that helped me get over my hair insecurity. Perhaps it was both. When the local Barry’s studio reopened, I was in the red room rocking my thin, sweaty hair, scalp showing and all, without the security blanket of a headband to cover the bald patches. It was fucking liberating. I didn’t die of embarrassment and no one made fun of me to my face, not like it would matter anyway! Seeing photos of my hair situation makes it extra real for me though. I’m not always 100% confident about my alopecia but I’ve accepted that it’s the hair that I’ve been given. And when it gets to a certain point of thinness, I’m happy to invest in a wig or two.
If there’s one thing you can take from my story, it’s to practice compassion towards others. This is something my formerly judgemental (insecure?) self continues to work on. Whether we have the ability to control our appearance or not, judging someone by the way they look is pointless. As we all know, it speaks more to our internalized flaws than anything the other person possesses or lacks. Of course, compassion for others extends past physical appearance too.
If you’d like more information about alopecia, including the different forms of it, check out the Canadian Dermatology Association or the American Academy of Dermatology Association websites.